cc: drind@giss.nasa.gov, Bette Otto-Bliesner , "Valérie Masson-Delmotte" , Keith Briffa , Tim Osborn , Jonathan Overpeck , "Øyvind Paasche" date: Mon, 05 Mar 2007 14:00:21 +0100 from: Fortunat Joos subject: Re: AR4 Final Input Please check this mail to: Eystein Jansen Hi, Here my comments as word attachment and below as ascii . With best regards, Fortunat Executive Summary: - All bullets should be formatted in the same way (e.g. with a leading ‘filled circle’) Main Text 1. 6.11 l9: ‘corresponding to’ seems fine to me, but a native English speaker may check. 2. 6.11 36-39 Change to: “For example, the CO2 increase from about 180 ppm at the Last Glacial Maximum to about 265 ppm in the early Holocene occurred with distinct rates over different periods (Monnin et al., 2001; Figure 6.4).” 3. 6.37 43-44 Add and to read “In recent years, sulphur dioxide emissions have decreased globally and in many regions of the NH (Stern, 2005; see Chapter 2).” 4. 6.38 3-4. This is a new sentence. I assume in request by the WGI plenary during the SPM approval. This is fine with me. 5. 6.72, l6 Bern CC = Bern Carbon Cycle-Climate Model 6. 6.73 l7 table 6.3 Models: Bern2.5CC =Bern 2.5D Carbon Cycle-Climate Model , References: Muscheler, R., F. Joos, J. Beer, S. A. Müller, M. Vonmoos, and I. Snowball. Solar activity during the last 1000 yr inferred from radionuclide records. Quaternary Science Reviews , 26, 82-97, 2007. Figures Fig. 6.3, line 13-14: Change to “Downward trends in the benthic 18O curve reflect increasing ice volumes.” Fig. 6.7: line 6 ARM is unitless (right Oyvind?) Line 2: Ca2+ is correct. Line 6: “SS09sea” is correct. Would prefer to keep the highlighted green text in the caption. I also think D-O should not be abbreviated in the caption. This will make it difficult to read for a general reader. Figure 6.15: line 9: Change to “The inset illustrates the influence of volcanic emissions and shows monthly sulphate data in ppm as measured…” Eystein Jansen wrote: > Hi friends: > > We're writing to get your FAST help with a very important part of our > final IPCC chapter production - checking the copy-edited text. Please > note the the deadline for this task is soon, and that we would like to > coordinate all edits centrally in Bergen. Please read the email from > Melinda at the TSU carefully, and send all proposed edits to Eystein > and: tordis.leroen@bjerknes.uib.no > ), where we will collate them and > get in the final suggested edits to the TSU by the deadline. > NOTE: You may access your chapter files at the following ftp site. > > server: ftp.joss.ucar.edu > account: wg1_gnrl > password: EQ0KW0WG (Please note that these are zeros - not letters.) > directory: pub/AR4_CopyEditFinal/ChXX > > > We're hoping that you will read the ENTIRE document AND associate > FIGS/TABLES carefully for errors, but that you spend extra time making > sure the sections (AND associated FIGS/TABLES) for which you are the > lead are checked extra carefully. These assignments are: > > ES/6.1/6.2 - Eystein, Peck > 6.3 David, Peck > 6.4 Bette, Fortunat > 6.5 Valerie, Bette > 6.6 Keith, Tim and Fortunat > > Again, please address all the issues listed listed in the TSU email > below. And, since we have to collate all the edits by March 9, please > send your comments to Bergen (eystein.jansen@geo.uib.no > AND tordis.leroen@bjerknes.uib.no > ) by (March 5). > > Please pay particular attention to the references - to make sure they > are correct and updated, we expect some in press are now printed! > Also, the figures and tables. > We (Eystein and Peck) will make the tiny changes necessitated by the > process in Paris. > See the attached table for these. > Paleo for the most part whizzed through the approval process faster than > any other parts of the SPM. > > Thanks, Eystein and Peck > > Hi Peck, > many thanks for Paris picture. > See you are cited in major Norwegian newspaper today based on a story in > the Uk paper The Guardian... > > Back to AR4 - how should we handle the proof thing? I can have someone > here edit the corrections as they come in, but we need to decide who of > the LAs we should involve if any. I think our idea was to use a few of > them: Keith, Bette, Valerie, Fortunat. Still want to do it this way? > > Cheers, > Eystein > > Videresendt melding: > Fra: Melinda Marquis > > Dato: 17. februar 2007 03.30.45 GMT+01:00 > Til: Jonathan Overpeck >, > Eystein Jansen > > Kopi: Susan Solomon >, Martin Manning >, IPCC-WG1 > > Emne: Copy-edited Ch. 6 files > > Dear CLAs, > Thank you very much for your invaluable assistance during the recent SPM > plenary meeting. As you will realise there are a few remaining steps > that need to be completed before final completion of the WG1-AR4 but > these should now be straightforward. This is to ask for your help in > the next of these steps which is to check the copy-edited version of > your chapter. > > A professional copy-editor has reviewed all chapters of the AR4 and made > some revisions. In most cases, her suggestions implement our style > guide (see attached) for consistency in punctuation, spelling, grammar > and language style across all chapters, points at which acronyms are > spelled out, etc, etc. In a few cases, she has suggested revised > wording for the sake of clarity, improved grammar or such. All these > changes that might have some effect on the meaning of a sentence are > shown in track-changes mode. > > We would be grateful if you would now go through these edited chapter > files and either accept, reject, or modify the copy-editor's tracked > revisions and return "cleaned up" files to the TSU. During this step > you should also: > > * make any remaining necessary and minor corrections to text or tables; > > * ensure that any corrections or updates provided to the TSU since the > distribution of the final draft in October 2006, have been included; > > * update references that have been published recently by inserting > volume and page numbers, etc; > > * add any adjustments to your chapter that arose from the SPM approval > process in Paris. > > Please return a checked file to us with all tracked changes removed. > > Please also remember to check your figures and figure captions carefully > including the axis labels, units used, etc. Annotated text should > already have been edited to follow the styles used in the text where > appropriate. In some cases we will be doing further improvements to the > text fonts used in figures but this is your last chance to ensure that > the wording is correct in all places. If you wish to make any small > revisions to figures, please contact Kristen Averyt (averyt@ucar.edu > ) as soon as possible. > Please remember that no substantive changes, or new references, can be > made to your chapter at this stage. > > The time line for delivering the camera-ready copy to the publisher is > quite tight. We ask that you please return your final text and figures > files to the TSU by Friday, March 9. > > You may access your chapter files at the following ftp site. > > server: ftp.joss.ucar.edu > account: wg1_gnrl > password: EQ0KW0WG (Please note that these are zeros - not letters.) > directory: pub/AR4_CopyEditFinal/ChXX > > The file names currently contain "_TSU." We ask that you change these > characters to "_CLA" in the files you return to us. Finally please > notify us at ipcc-wg1@al.noaa.gov when you > have uploaded the checked files. > > Best regards, > > Melinda Marquis > -- > Dr Melinda Marquis, Deputy Director, IPCC WG I Support Unit > NOAA/ESRL Phone: +1 303 497 4487 > 325 Broadway, DSRC R/CSD08 Fax: +1 303 497 5628 > Boulder, CO 80305, USA > ? > _______________________________ > = > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > _________________________________ > Eystein Jansen, prof., Director > Bjerknes Centre for Climate Research > Allégaten 55 > N5007 Bergen > phone: +47-55583491, fax. +47-55584330 > eystein.jansen@geo.uib.no > www.bjerknes.uib.no > > > > = -- Climate and Environmental Physics, Physics Institute, University of Bern Sidlerstr. 5, CH-3012 Bern Phone: ++41(0)31 631 44 61 Fax: ++41(0)31 631 87 42 Internet: http://www.climate.unibe.ch/~joos/ Attachment Converted: "c:\eudora\attach\Ch06_CopyEdit_corrections_fjoos_5mar07.doc"